Week 7: Focus on Self-Love
On our walk this past Saturday, women from across the country who are in committed and supportive relationships shared their advice on love, in the wake of the trauma that many of us are experiencing because we watched Diddy’s violent attack on Cassie.
The conversation was too important not to share. Take a walk and listen here.
We are having these conversations every week on the pavement.
They are powerful and healing. I don’t know what you have planned next Saturday at 10AM ET, but you pledged to walk in solidarity with us. That’s why you are receiving this email, and we need you out there on the pavement.
For me, the conversation on Saturday, and what is happening with Diddy, has made me reflect on two things:
One, this episode of Black History Bootcamp where I chose to celebrate Bad Boy Records as one of our favorite crews. I’ve been asking myself if it was cognitive dissonance that allowed me to admire and celebrate someone for their professional accomplishments, while personally assuming that the things that women have been saying about him for years must be true. I am reflecting on my own beliefs and actions, and hoping everyone else is doing the same. Where are we complicit? What men in our families and lives have we given a pass to, and why?
The other thing that has been sitting on my heart is my own first memories. A lot of them involve me in fear, listening through the door as my mom argues with some man, watching my mom go toe-to-toe, blow for blow with some man, my mom and me in fear, running, sometimes barefoot just like Cassie was in that video, hitchhiking with strangers just to get away.
Forty-six years later and I am only just realizing now that I don’t have to keep running. That I am safe.
Imagine what that has done to my nervous system.
Imagine what it has done to yours.
As Audre Lorde reminded us, “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.”
We are in Week 7 of Self-Care for Freedom Fighters and this is why we walk.
Self-Care Mission
This week, your mission is to walk five days and focus on healing through self-love, letting go of grief, and practicing forgiveness. Each day, spend your walk reflecting on these themes, and after your walk, engage in a self-care ritual that reinforces these reflections.
Healing begins with acknowledging our past and nurturing our hearts. By focusing on self-love and forgiveness, we create space for joy and resilience in our lives.
Day 1: Self-Love
Set your intention to focus on what you appreciate about yourself. Reflect on your strengths and positive qualities as you walk.
After your walk, engage in a self-care ritual that makes you feel cherished, such as taking a warm bath or treating yourself to something special.
Day 2: Walking Away from Grief
Reflect on a past hurt or loss. As you walk, imagine this grief leaving your body with each step, feeling lighter with every stride.
After your walk, spend 10 minutes writing in a journal about the experience, acknowledging your feelings and the progress you’re making in letting go.
Day 3: Practicing Forgiveness
Focus on someone you need to forgive, including yourself. As you walk, mentally release the burden of resentment and anger.
After your walk, write a letter of forgiveness, whether you choose to send it or not. This act will help you process your emotions and move forward.
Day 4: Reaffirming Self-Love
Revisit the theme of self-love by engaging in positive affirmations during your walk. Remind yourself of your worth and the love you deserve.
After your walk, treat yourself to flowers or something special, because you are worth it.
Day 5: Integration
Combine all three themes by reflecting on how self-love, forgiveness, and letting go of grief have shifted your perspective and emotions over the week.
After your walk, write in your journal about the changes you’ve noticed and the steps you’ll continue to take to nurture your well-being.
Write a self-love letter to yourself at the end of the week, expressing love, compassion, and pride in your achievements. Seal the letter and open it at a later date to remind you of your strength and progress.
With love,
Vanessa & Morgan
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